School's Out For Summer

This past Thursday, I officially concluded three summer courses. To wrap up public speaking, we had to deliver a persuasive speech on a controversial topic.

A good portion of the topics chosen were fairly tame: alternatives for mothers who can’t breastfeed, discouraging pop culture’s thin ideal media (targeting girls, specifically), and opposing the university’s colleges with restricted majors.

Others did bring the heat, including two female students who spoke against gay marriage.

The latter female began her speech with a poignant quote from every liberal’s favorite, Rush Limbaugh:

“…let’s say we discover the gene that says the kid’s gonna be gay. How many parents, if they knew before the kid was gonna be born, [that he] was gonna be gay, they would take the pregnancy to term? Well, you don’t know but let’s say half of them said, “Oh, no, I don’t wanna do that to a kid.” [Then the] gay community finds out about this. The gay community would do the fastest 180 and become pro-life faster than anybody you’ve ever seen. … They’d be so against abortion if it was discovered that you could abort what you knew were gonna be gay babies.”

She proceeded to let the Bible narrate the remainder of her speech, touching on the purity of procreation and the sanctity of heterosexual marriage.

Pretty standard.

Now I don’t have extremely developed views of gay marriage, but I certainly don’t think two soprano or two bass I do’s will invite the apocalypse. And as a supposedly “ethical listener”, I chose not to drill her about the separation of church and state.

However, I did mull over the Limbaugh quote for the duration of her presentation.

“I’d like to take this time to answer any questions.”

I raised my hand, although I didn’t have a direct question. She called on me.

I asked her to follow along as I dissected Limbaugh’s words.

First, Limbaugh clearly believes the gay community is predominantly pro-choice. This may be right. If it is the case, though, is that group not already inherently embracing the deaths of their potentially gay brethren? I doubt many pro-choice folks create footnotes of who they are really OK with being aborted.

His brazen 180 idea falters, I think, but let’s spin it once more.

He suggests half of gay-carrying parents would nix birthing their kid. It sounds like those families would be composed of evangelical conservatives who like to say, “God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.”

(The female student said that in her speech.)

Well if they abort their tyke, would they not need to somehow morally justify their anti-God action? Maybe God is pro-life unless it involves one of those silly gays. Yeah, that must be how the big guy rolls.

Of course, that does sort of taint the whole “omnipotent, all-knowing” thing, which should technically afford Him the ability to prevent homosexuality before it started.

If it is so terrible, I think He would have gone that route.

(As an aside, watch the movie Dogma.)

I didn’t offer my thoughts as finger-pointing. I was simply highlighting the gaps in his hypothetical scenario. I was only recommending we not take powerful media at face value.

Limbaugh might ostensibly be an educated, credible figure on the radio, but his musings aren’t always on par with Yoda.

I blatantly said I wasn’t isolating conservatives, either. Everyone should think for themselves.

Still, the student looked like I’d just shot her dog before her eyes.

After several other questions, she sat down. And held her head down. And was silent the remainder of class.

I rode my bicycle away from the building thinking about college as a totality.

Growing up, I had always heard it was a public forum for lively debate. It’s a place to grow as intellectuals.

But when did everyone become so sensitive?

To offer a parallel, here’s a snippet from sports writer Bill Simmons talking about LeBron James in the Orlando Magic series:

“When you caused a controversy by storming off the court after Game 6 and refusing to attend your press conference, you did something even better: You brought us back to the days when "rivals" didn't hug each other like Red and Andy after every game, when NBA stars actually took losing personally and treated their peers like enemies instead of friends. I loved it. That was an old-school move. …”

I’m not endorsing the formation of enemies per se, but not every interaction demands our being cordial. Our teeth were meant for more than smiling.

Let us bite at one another. Let us explore all facets of a topic. Let us be malleable.

What is education otherwise?

The contented regurgitation of facts; standardization.

Oh yeah, Virginia’s Standards of Learning. Those types of rigid tests certainly get children off on the right foot.

Partner that with parents who want solely to be their child’s friend rather than an authority.

The current youth has almost no choice but to be one-dimensional.